Communication is the key to a successful, happy relationship. Unfortunately, many conversations are ignited the wrong way. When you start a conversation with a negative tone, you will end up with a conversation that ends as a battle. So, how do you start a conversation the right way?
Eliminate the Blame
It's so easy to start a conversation by blaming the other person for one thing or another. It's never OK to blame, but it is OK to complain. If your partner fails to do something that needed to be done, don't call them names and tell them how irresponsible they are. Instead, calmly say that it bothered you that the task didn't get done and explain the repercussions of that task not being completed.
If you can explain why it bothered you, rather than just blaming the other person for not getting it done, there will be a better understanding between you and the task may just be completed next time.
Don't Judge: Describe
Instead of yelling at your partner for never helping you with this or that, describe to your partner that you're feeling overwhelmed and need some help. You shouldn't be afraid to ask for help, but you should never yell at your partner for not helping you.
If you ignite the conversation about how overwhelmed you are by telling your partner, "You never help!" it will do nothing productive for anyone. Instead, sit down, calmly ask for help and see where the conversation goes.
You walk into the garage and see the disaster left behind after his latest project. Instead of yelling, "Look at the mess you've made," be specific. Request that the specific mess get cleaned up within a given time. You don't want to try to force anyone to do anything immediately, but give them the time to get it done without disrupting the other things that they had planned to do.
When your partner does do something that you enjoyed, make sure to show your appreciation. Just showing your partner that not everything that they do is wrong in your eyes can go a long way in making him or her feel special.
A conversation sparked by appreciation can be more refreshing than going on a holiday weekend for two. Sometimes, when you don't feel that the person that you love appreciates the things that you do for him or her, the relationship can take a drastic turn for the better.
The key to positive communication in a relationship is to remain calm, stay polite and keep your partner's feelings in mind. For more help, contact a company like Andrea Brandt Therapy.